1. Mrs. Boyd, patient financial services/accounting
2. First paragraph tells how she found the ad in the paper. She then goes and describes her past experience and what she has to offer for the company. The last paragraph reiterates what she has to offer for the company and how they can reach her. Enclosed is her resume.
3. She achieved by improving information flow within the patient financial services function, improving patient financial services utilization of already available MIS services, and improving cooperation between patient services and admissions, UR, contracting, and medical records functions.
4. Credibility because she says “After fifteen years in patient accounting, I have a thorough understanding of every aspect of this function in a modern hospital/medical center setting” and “If you are seeking a manager who stays abreast of her field, who understands technology, who earns 100% staff support, and who is as career-committed as it takes to achieve total success, then please consider what I have to offer”.
5. She addresses the reader 7 times. They do not know their employer.
6. I think this was a very strong letter, enclosed was her resume which told about her previous jobs and education so that doesn’t need to be included in the cover letter.
1. Mr. Arvidson, this person wants to be a librarian.
2. First paragraph describes her accomplishments and where she graduated college, the second paragraph talks about her experience. The last paragraph tells the reader how to reach her if interested.
3. As a student in the MLIS program at San José State, I was hired by the Clark Library to teach library instruction workshops to the freshman English classes during my second semester and was asked to teach them again the following semester after receiving positive feedback from the faculty and library staff.
4. Both credible and Emotional, she states that she has wanted to return to the library where she realized she wanted to be a librarian which is somewhat emotional however she also states that she has past experience in libraries which makes her credible.
5. She addresses the reader 4 or 5 times, they do not know each other.
6. I would not have said “GO BULLDOGS” at the end.
1. Mr. Henry Fouche, this person is a writer and/or publisher.
2. The first sentence is telling the reader she is referred to them. The second and third tell about her experience and what she has to offer within writing. The last talks about how she wants to meet up with this employer.
3. Prior to my current position, I was highly involved in the public relations industry, working for Jones & Jones, where I prepared numerous press releases and media guides, as well as managing several marketing campaigns.
4. Credible, because she states, Prior to my current position, I was highly involved in the public relations industry, working for Jones & Jones, where I prepared numerous press releases and media guides, as well as managing several major direct mail campaigns, and My high degree of motivation has been recognized by my previous employers who have quickly promoted me to positions of greater responsibility.
5. She addresses the reader 3 times; they do not know each other.
6. She states that she will call her next week and schedule a time to meet; I would not have said that.