Previous Entry Share Next Entry
(no subject)
kkellerhoff
Responding to an ad:
http://jobstar.org/tools/resume/clet-ex1.php
1. Mrs. Boyd, patient financial services/accounting
2. First paragraph tells how she found the ad in the paper. She then goes and describes her past experience and what she has to offer for the company. The last paragraph reiterates what she has to offer for the company and how they can reach her. Enclosed is her resume.
3. She achieved by improving information flow within the patient financial services function, improving patient financial services utilization of already available MIS services, and improving cooperation between patient services and admissions, UR, contracting, and medical records functions.
4. Credibility because she says “After fifteen years in patient accounting, I have a thorough understanding of every aspect of this function in a modern hospital/medical center setting” and “If you are seeking a manager who stays abreast of her field, who understands technology, who earns 100% staff support, and who is as career-committed as it takes to achieve total success, then please consider what I have to offer”.
5. She addresses the reader 7 times. They do not know their employer.
6. I think this was a very strong letter, enclosed was her resume which told about her previous jobs and education so that doesn’t need to be included in the cover letter.

Unsolicited:
http://www.careercenter.sjsu.edu/students/launch/Resume_covLet/sample_docs/UnsolicitedCoverLetter.pdf
1. Mr. Arvidson, this person wants to be a librarian.
2. First paragraph describes her accomplishments and where she graduated college, the second paragraph talks about her experience. The last paragraph tells the reader how to reach her if interested.
3. As a student in the MLIS program at San José State, I was hired by the Clark Library to teach library instruction workshops to the freshman English classes during my second semester and was asked to teach them again the following semester after receiving positive feedback from the faculty and library staff.
4. Both credible and Emotional, she states that she has wanted to return to the library where she realized she wanted to be a librarian which is somewhat emotional however she also states that she has past experience in libraries which makes her credible.
5. She addresses the reader 4 or 5 times, they do not know each other.
6. I would not have said “GO BULLDOGS” at the end.

Referral:
http://www.quintcareers.com/sample_referral_letter.html
1. Mr. Henry Fouche, this person is a writer and/or publisher.
2. The first sentence is telling the reader she is referred to them. The second and third tell about her experience and what she has to offer within writing. The last talks about how she wants to meet up with this employer.
3. Prior to my current position, I was highly involved in the public relations industry, working for Jones & Jones, where I prepared numerous press releases and media guides, as well as managing several marketing campaigns.
4. Credible, because she states, Prior to my current position, I was highly involved in the public relations industry, working for Jones & Jones, where I prepared numerous press releases and media guides, as well as managing several major direct mail campaigns, and My high degree of motivation has been recognized by my previous employers who have quickly promoted me to positions of greater responsibility.
5. She addresses the reader 3 times; they do not know each other.
6. She states that she will call her next week and schedule a time to meet; I would not have said that.

  • 1
I agree that she should not have added GO BULLDOGS at the end, for it's quite unprofessional, isn't it? It's distracting, too. I also see the correlation between emotional and credible appeal and how those two can be effective in combination, so long as they are used judiciously: You never want to be too emotional (as I myself have learned through experience), but sometimes it can prove how passionate you are about the position for which you are applying, as if no other kind of employment would suffice. Those kinds of later-in-life revelations can be very convincing.

I completely agree that "GO Bulldogs" shouldn't be in the cover letter. I think it is too emotional and makes it seem very unprofessional. With the referral letter I think that it is not appropriate to say that they will call back to schedule an appointment, even though in class we discussed it was appropriate in some circumstances, I still think that I would take that part out.

Good job on picking out the main appeal of each cover letter. All three cover letters include some source of credibility and one includes emotional appeal. Each cover letter lists past experience of some sort which is credible. Including credibility in a cover letter will allow the person reading it to get an idea of the person applying for the job and whether or not their skills qualify for the job.

I really like how you layed out your resumes I thought the look was very professional. I read your resume about Mr. Avidson and I totally agree with what you say about the cover letter being emotional. He shows that he really wants to be a libriaian and is passionate in his work.

I like the fact that your responses are short and sweet. Usually it takes me a long time to read through a classmates posts but your writing is an easy quick read. I also used the same cover letter as you did for your unsolicited one and I completely agree that the use of "GO BULLDOGS" was a little corny. I would not have added that to my own cover letter. I also agree with your last statement in your third cover letter that she should not have set up a time herself but let them contact her and set up a time.

For most your entries, you kept your answers short but straight to the point and i admire that because it can be difficult at time to simply respond to a letter with so few words. I also did the same cover letter you did on the librarian and i completely agree with what you said about leaving the " Go Bulldogs " comment out.

Good work on the journal entry. I like how you used the one to Mr. Fouche. This cover letter seems to be a popular one. I think that it is a very good cover letter and the only thing that I would change is maybe address the reader a couple more times directly. Keep up the good work.

It's called the "first in the search engine" phenomenon.

The direct citations were an interesting touch...

  • 1
?

Log in

No account? Create an account